A bit of rain GOOD MORNING!!! to you all! Yup, a bit of the “Termination Water” (rain) on this morning’s Forward Ambulation. Meaning fall is coming…with more stinkin rain!
Free For All Friday Ed-vise today. Cause it’s FRIDAY! STILL NO OPEN MAT (stitches); PIZZA NIGHT!
You learn something new every day.
At least I did yesterday.
Was at a retirement luncheon for a colleague of mine. During the luncheon, Brussel sprouts were ordered as an appetizer.
The place we ate at, apparently, has some super good Brussel sprouts. They deep fry them and put other seasonings with them to make a very tasty little dish.
At least that’s what people say.
Me, I hate…HATE…Brussel sprouts. They are the Fruit of the Devil.
I learned “why” about myself yesterday.
See, when I was young (single digit young), my mom made us Brussel sprouts. She steamed them.
We all sat down around the table and mom put the little green, eyeball sized, mini-cabbage looking, dark green things on my plate. Three to be exact. To add to the nightmare, they smelled like a fart. Pick a fart. They smelled like that.
I ate everything on my plate all the way up to the Brussel sprouts. I asked if it was a requirement that I eat these little balls of death.
Mom gave an emphatic “YES!”
Mom is a Ginger. She grew up poor. Several times in her childhood she did not have food. Cleaning the plate was kind of mandatory in the house.
I cut a small piece of the vile sprout. Put it in my mouth. The texture seemed like a stinky hawked up loogy. I bit down. I tried to swallow it. And then things got interesting…to say the least.
The human body has a “gag reflex.” This reflex is actually a defense mechanism that is involuntary. When the brain senses that there is a substance or foreign object entering the body via the mouth AND that substance or object is a threat, the brain will tell the body to expel the thing. Thus, a “gag” happens which prevents the thing from entering the body and possibly killing the human.
That is EXACTLY what my brain told my body to do when I attempted to swallow the toxic Brussel sprout. A perfectly natural, involuntary reaction of my body working to protect me.
Mom did not see it that way.
When a Ginger female who grew up poor and missing meals encounters her child gagging on a Brussel sprout, her brain goes into a different, albeit, involuntary reaction.
She, IMMEDIATELY, took my bodies reaction to be a personal affront and an insult to her and her cooking. And she LOST HER MIND!
If there was ever a need to report the attempted murder of a child by their mom…that was it. What made it worse was NOBODY tried to stop her. Pops just sat eating; sis looked away. Mom screaming and flailing; me in tears and in pain.
And every single bite resulted in the exact same scenario: a gag, screaming, and being smacked in the head.
I eventually choked down those little vile balls of death and hurt feelings. No police were involved. Not that they would have done anything anyways.
Years later (yesterday) I realized why mom blew a gasket like that. She grew up missing meals. And when that happens, it impacts a person.
Ed-vise for you parents out there: Don’t serve Brussel sprouts to your kids. They are of the Devil and will only cause years of trauma!
I’m just saying
That’s it for today. Be the person your dog thinks you are. Check in on each other (especially your friends in Florida) and remember Saturday and Sunday are the strongest of days because the rest are…WEAK DAYS! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA…
Peace
Ed-vise 