Ed-vise: Enjoy the Silence

A beautiful Shasta Lake GOOD MORNING!!! to you all! Yup, Shasta Lake is FULL! And looking BEAUTIFUL! Even the little fingers off the lake are full up. Might not last so definitely get a look!

Monday Musings Ed-vise today. Cause it’s MONDAY! So GET AFTER IT!

Spousal Support Unit and I got an entire weekend to US. And Ju Jitsu of course…but just US! Went to Sacramento for the 75th Annual AJJF Convention. Been two years since we had our last in-person convention. The Ohana was still there. Even the ones who left us behind, still could be felt.

Which meant a drive. Which ALSO meant…PODCASTS! Lex Friedman of course. He’s the guy that Spousal Support Unit always says puts her to sleep. However, she NEVER does. Despite a relatively boring voice, his guests and the conversations are really very good and deep.

Chris Voss was this trips guest.

Voss was an FBI negotiator for several years and now does consulting for businesses looking to make deals and negotiate things.

His son, according to him, is the best negotiator he knows. That’s pretty good praise if you ask me.

One of the things that Voss brought up was Dynamic Pause. Apparently Voss’ son is very good at the use of silence in negotiations.

Have you ever been with someone and sat silently with them? Saying nothing while they talk? Or just having silence between the two of you?

For some (number one son for instance) they cannot just enjoy the silence. They must fill the void with words. Sitting in silence is torture.

“The intimacy of silence” was a comment made in the podcast. Can’t recall who said it. Still, it reminded me of some of the best times I had with Pops, Grandad, Uncle Mel, and Fegusen. The best conversationalists in my life.

Yes, the words we exchanged that created the different ideas were voluminous. Heavy with thoughts; thick with philosophies and concepts; sharp at times with an occasional profanity thrown in depending on the amount of “spirits” we had taken in. Yet, many times, we would just sit in silence and that was enough.

Literal HOURS I spent in my grandad’s shop with him. He and I sitting on plastic milk cartons. The square, hard plastic ones. Him smoking a Camel cigarette (I can tell the difference in smell of a Camel), can of beer in his hand. I with the same cheap beer in mine. Just looking out the big sliding door into the driveway. Not a word said. Just sitting and being.

In Pop’s last days, I would simply sit with him. Despite his state of mind, simply being with him was enough. Mom would try to get me to read to him or say something to him. He knew I was there. He knew where I was and I knew he was right there with me. Together, just like healthy days, we just sat in silence. Enjoying the presence of each other.

Spousal Support Unit gets frustrated with me at times. Usually because when we drive, I don’t say much. I don’t need to. I simply love just being with her as we drive down whatever road. At times I reach over to stretch my arm out and rest it on her head rest. At times I will reach over and hold her hand. Just enjoying her presence and the silence.

I do break the silence by ordering up cookies or trail mix or whatever. After all, she does have work to do while I drive. Still, there is an intimacy in the silence. Often times I just like sitting in it. Enjoy the silence!

I’m just saying

That’s it for today. Be the person a stranger will do CPR on. Check in on each other and remember pigs don’t use male or female bathrooms. They go…WEE WEE WEE ALL THE WAY HOME! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA…oink oink


Published by edhlaw

Son, husband, father, uncle, nephew, cousin

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